I was going to write a detailed birth story blog entry, but decided not to get so technical with this.
I will start by saying that having a baby is absolutely nothing like it is in any movie or television show. I watch scenes now where people are having babies and they’re laughable. Delivering a child is the most painful experience of my entire life. I’m just going to say it. It was hard, painful, and exhausting.
I wanted to try for a natural birth. I wanted to try different techniques to manage the pain of it all. I wanted to decline all pain killers and medicines. However, I was not opposed to accepting medicine if I really just couldn’t handle the pain. I envisioned a natural birth, but it didn’t happen quite the way I pictured, and I’m so glad for it.
After having contractions for 24 hours and then being in “transition” for HOURS which was pure torture. I decided with the help of the incredible nurse and my wonderful husband and lovely doula to get an intrathecal narcotic or ITN which is basically like an epidural but it’s instant and it’s a single dose, so it lasts 1-2 hours only. Once that sucker kicked in I was able to take a nap! I slept for an hour and because I was fully relaxed I was able to fully dilate in my sleep and shortly after waking up began pushing. 45 minutes later Vivonuo was born!
If I hadn’t done the ITN then I would have been in seriously painful labor probably for a few more hours. No thanks.
All throughout labor you just want to get that baby out of you so it can finally be over with, but what people don’t actually tell you is that once the baby is here it’s actually more difficult than anything you’ve ever done in your entire life. Feeding her nonstop. Worrying about SIDS every time she sleeps. Trying to sleep when she does, but failing miserably. I’ll admit we sent her to the nursery twice so we could get some sleep.
Once we got home though the real hard work began. I swear I cried more that first week than all other times in my life combined. It is an emotional, hormonal roller coaster and you feel like you’re doing everything wrong. You’re up all day and all night. I think I got maybe 10 hours of sleep that entire first week.
From the moment Vivonuo arrived she was a scream-crier. She would cry and cry and cry and cry. She would be crying if she was awake, and not just crying, but scream-crying. It was hard, and it kept happening. For the past 5 weeks she has been crying if she wasn’t eating or sleeping. Sometimes even crying while eating, or refusing to eat because she was crying so hard. It broke this mama’s heart because I knew something must be wrong for her to be crying every waking moment. She slept terribly because of it as well.
At first we thought it was because she was hungry. I wasn’t producing enough milk and needed to start supplimenting with formula after every feeding. What they told me to do was feed her for 30 minutes (15 mins on each side), give her some formula, and then pump for 15 minutes to get my milk supply up. Yeah, with a nonstop screaming baby that isn’t going to happen. It just seemed like way too much work and I was so exhausted and even after making sure she was eating enough she still continued her nonstop crying. I knew something else must have been up. I assumed it was gas or tummy problems until I posted on a fussy baby Facebook group I recently joined. Many ladies said their babies were acting the exact same as Vivonuo and it was because they had reflux so they got some medicine and the baby did much better. We did end up going to the doctor just yesterday and sure enough she has reflux. We picked up the meds on the way home and last night was the greatest night of sleep since she’s been born for both of us! She even fell back asleep on her own after waking up once in the night. That NEVER HAPPENS EVER. Trying to get her to go to sleep and stay asleep has been such a fight since her birth. It was so incredible being able to actually wake up, feed her, rock her to sleep within a couple minutes and lay her down and she STAYED DOWN AND ASLEEP. I got 6.5 hours of sleep last night people. That is a world record!
I am excited now to see her smile and hear her coo more often. To be able to put her down for a few minutes and have her entertain herself without crying. This is a game changer!
In the midst of the crying, eating troubles, and pure exhaustion I have fallen for this tiny, squishy girl. She came into this world and immediately I knew she belonged here with me. It was like she’s always been with us. I cannot wait to live in each and every moment with her growing up. She has won my heart without even trying. She is perfect in every way.